nagbabagang...

TAE.

Ang neyga ko na naman ngayon. Kasing neyga ko kahapon. At dahil sobrang neyga ako kahapon, muntik ko nang di siputin si Ching at ang boss ng Alchemy na magtatanong sana sa akin. Raket ito. Pero muntik ko nang isnabin. Buti tumawag ang Ching. Nagbago ang lahat. Ng kaunti. Owkey ang proseso. Mabait ang boss ng Alchemy. Mabait ang mga tanong. Mabait magtanong. Ang mga sagot? Sosyal. Sosyal ang mga sagot.

Pagkatapos, babo na kami. Kumain ng baby back sina Ching at isang lalaking di ko babanggitin ang neym. Ako naman ay nakikain lang sa kanila habang nagpapalamig ng fresh strawberry and manggo shake. Pagkatapos, umalis sa restong medyo sosyal at lumipat sa Calle 5. Tatlong bir uli, at maraming maraming tawanan at kaunting drama--na halos wala na nga talagang dramang nangyari.

Nalunod ang neyga partikels.

Pero bago ito, nakakasurpresang malaman na habang ikaw ay neyga at online sa ym, may isang negya rin na online sa ym. Katulad mo, ayaw nyang aminin kung bakit sya neyga. Sa tingin ko, di naman na kailangang aminin kung ano ang dahilan. Malaking bagay na na aminin mong sad ka at neyga ka. Yon lang sapat na.

Pero tingin ko may kaugnayan sa kanyang labir ang kanyang kaneygahan. Ewan. Pero tulad ko, gusto nya ring magbakasyon. Sa beach daw. Mag-isa. Bakasyon ng ilang araw. Magdadala lang daw siya ng nivea--panlaban sa araw. Atraktib ito. Umuo ako. Gusto ko ring gawin yong gusto nya. Empak, gusto ko itong gawin nuon pa.

Sa ngayon, ang gusto ko talagang gawin ay magkulong sa kwarto. Ng ilang araw. Siguro tatlong araw. Di lalabas. Di kakain. Di maliligo. Di magsasalita. Walang TV. E-o-op ang radyo. Pati selpon. Iiyak lang. Iyak lang ng iyak. Yong may sawnd na iyak hanggang sa mamaos ako. Tapos, mamya, wala na namang sawd kasi paos na.

bir--par tu

Wala akong mapost ngayon. Pero gustong gusto kong magpost. Kaya ito na lang, kung post mang matatawag ito. Gusto kong ikwento ang meeting namin ni kiks, empress, at mandaya nong nagmanila kami ni mandaya para sa isang event na, ewan pero sobrang nakakatuwa at, edyokeysyonal. Jeyses! edyokeysyonal ba ang sinabi ko?

Unang-una, gusto kong magpasalamat at nakabalik na ako ng Davao kahit pa man gusto ko pang mag-estey sa Luzon. Gusto kong gumala. Hindi sa Manila. Sa Luzon. Kahit saan basta wag lang sa Manila. Kahit pa man kasagsagan ng bagyo. Sabi nga ni Aaron: "May bagyo? Eh, ano?" Ang sagot ko naman: "Eh di, baha..."

Gusto kong subukang bagyohin. Una dahil akoy uga sa napakahaba nang panahon at ikalawa, gusto kong patunayang pwedeng maging event ang bagyo. Na pwede itong maging toris atraksyon na katulad ng bulkang mayon. O Apo.

Pero hindi naman season ngayon ng gala. Sa dami ng gawain, di dapat gumala. Hindi dapat i-endyoy ang tanawin ng pinas kung ang totoong tanawing dapat na bigyan ng pansin ay yong nasa Maguindanao, Pikit at Lanao.

Pero minsan din, naisip ko, ang sarap siguro kung kasama ka sa entored ni GMA. Dyangket ng todong-todong. Pero kung akoy taga-Mindanao at kasama ako sa trip ng pangulo, tiyak kong di ko rin ito mai-endyoy. Ang gagawin ko, hahanapin ko si Obama. At magpapa-esnab. At aadbaysan ko ang pangulo na magpa-esnab uli kay Obama. Ano kaya ang piling ng sanay ma-esnab? Tulad ba ito ng sanay na mabasted? Endyoy siguro talaga yon.

Syor, ibang sipa ng endyoymen ang nangyari nong dinner namin nina mandaya, kiks, empress sa kitchen ng greenbelt na sobrang alta. Pero syempre, mas alta ang mandaya kasi nagpasikat ito. Siya ang nagbayad ng aming nilapshe. Aba! Sobrang pasikat. Kung alam lang ni kiks and empress kung anong uring pagpuputa ang ginawa ng mandaya para mabayaran ang dinner na yon na sobrang mahal. And jeyses masyado the pleys. Masyadong gawa. Pati ang gward, gawang-gawa. Bumalik lang ako sa reyaliti nong nag-malate kaming apat. Sarap. Ng bir. Yes, sarap ng bir sa O. Ang gandang pagmasdan ng mga weter na naka-penk.


Sa loob ko: mabuti na lang, di ako naka-penk ngayon.

Bago kami uminon ng bir, ito muna ang ginawa namin sa pleys na masyadong alta. Pityor. Di kasama si mandaya kasi chinika nya ang gward. nag-oper ng P500 para magpa-pityor silang dalawa. Tsip ang gaga. Teyk nowt ang bunganga naming tatlo. Kay kiks ang pinaka-wayd.



At habang bumubuhos ang bir sa aming lalamunahahannnnn, dumaan si Michael. Sabi ni kiks Filam daw ito. UCLA. Nasa Pinas. Dyomodyoen ito ng mga mob. Pinakilala kami. Bes in esmayl sya. At gwapo. Shineyk nya ako. Shineyk ko rin sya. Ayan sya. Kasama ni kiks at isa pang kasama nila. Sya yang nasa right. Ano ba. Hindi yang nasa gitna! Vovie!




Mas masarap sya kaysa sa bir.

bir sa aking lalamunahahannnn

Y,

So what I have told you last night? Yon yon.

Don't tell me I did not warn you about it: I am my most honest self when my insides--including what's left of my brain--are drowning in alcohol. I have a feeling you took it lightly the way I was--and will (always) be--taking bottles after bottles of lowcal beer almost every night like there's no tomorrow.

Last night was like the other one when I anticipated an end to what I was densely considering as a connection between the two of us. But I have not been sure about a lot of things recently; unsure as my choice of the word connection that could have been so-not-there in the first place. But I can remember you assuring me that this connection will continue with your "bakit naman hindi?"--regardless of what I confessed.

Reading that, I somehow wished you were not telling the truth. Still, part of me wished otherwise. But things could very well come out differently. Or close, if not exactly, to what I initially was afraid of. I saw people fall in love and how they grew together in love. But I also witnessed the tragedy of people being unloved. Now I see myself in them. Clearly. Like the time when I told you that I think I was falling for you and being scared of the truth that I have already fallen for you.

Sure I am scared. The thought of falling in love is scary. And seeing myself fall in love is scary. And feeling the self falling in love with you is scary. And writing about it here is scary.

But honesty I have become last night and was happy that you asked earlier on, before that confession:" Pag namatay ako ngayong gabi, kelan ulit tayo magkikita?"


Because honestly? I didn't know the answer.

if god knows! twice

The opening scene was a complete whirl: young naked bodies painfully wrapped with packaging tape amid a confusing babble of gayspeak.

Save for that scene where naked bodies, one of which showed an appendage-less near-frontal—the body-owner is overheard saying “gamay lagi na akong notes! (My dick is small!)”—there’s no more flesh—I mean, sex—in the Thank You Girls.

And despite the absence--but not completely--of revolting display of flesh and over dramatic and tired bleak and violence, this one will be taken seriously for its hilarity.

Written in Visayan with English subtitles, nobody would ever think that the film was a Cinemalaya trash.

“I feel so vindicated,” says Bebs Gohetia, the Davao-born writer and director who also wrote the screenplay for Daybreak and got a nomination for Best Editor at the Second Annual Asian Film Festival for Tirador.

I met Bebs late last year, while TYG was still in the works. I read the script even before its 6 lead stars—five of whom are all local and unprofessional—did.

From the opening scene, Gohetia succeeded in making his audience forget, albeit very shortly, that the world outside is drowning in its own tragedy—although the film shows the awful fate of six gays, all of them beauty pageant veterans who never seem to get tired both at joining and losing in every contest.

But you will never feel sorry for them, no matter how you see them crumble over their own tragedy of losing and becoming thank you girls or backstage beauties. Instead, you will admire their chutzpah to survive in a stage (after another) where intelligence and beauty, apart from age, are essential weapons to survive.

TYG stars EJ Pantujan, July Jimenez, Kit Poliquit, Kim Vergara, Pidot Villocino, and Ari Bancate, all of them Dabawenyos. Another lead role was played by Gie Salonga, half-brother of Lea Salonga.

And yes, another character worth mentioning is Char Lang who loves to sashay around town with Exclusive For Bayots sash.

TYG is still shown at Gaisano Mall of Davao until Sept. 16. Late this month, it will be competing in the Vancouver International Film Festival’s Dragons and Tigers Competition for Young Filmmakers as the only Filipino entry.


Watch na keyo! Dyodi na magwaiting in vain for pirated dibidi kay 48 years pa ang araybal. Go as in G-O-W!!!

buhawk

I'm sort of trying a lot of things recently--from the absurd to weird to totally, totally unimaginable. After that korean-styled hair, which was emo according to friends, I now have this close-to-mohawk hair. I'm still thinking of getting hardcore. Thinking really, really hard of becoming hardcore. Right now, I love the two-inch shaved part--from my temple down to the back that veees around--that shows my pihing head.

basa

sa meeting namin sa bali bali resort sa isla ng samal, walang ibang nangyari--walang napag-usapan--kundi ito:


ako at si grasya, ang diwata ng bukidnon...


swim lang ng swim...



kwin nipoltiti...



kung ang mga lalaking ito ang makakasama ko sa isang isla? swim na lang ng swim...