Kagabi, pagkatapos ng huling Christmas party for 2006, rampa ang drama namin ng kaibigan kong bading.

Well, meet nyo nga pala siya. Tatawagin natin siyang Annette. Kung bakit, akin na lang muna yon pero ang clue ay makikita sa name ni Annette Bennings. Huwag nyo nang subukan pang hulaan at hindi kayo magtatagumpay. Talagang tagumpay? Ganon?

Mas matanda sa akin si Annette. Mga early 30s na siya. Mas experienced--both sa kabadingan at sa work. Di hamak na mas mapera kaya naman super sasarap ng mga boys niya. Believe me. Delicious talaga ang mga toys niya.

Neways, balikan natin ang aking rampa with Annette na talaga namang swell talaga. Well, lagi naman talagang ganon ang rampa with Anette. Even before I met Athan. As in swelling with bagets.

Siya naman kasi yong tipong bagets lang ang tinatalupan at nginangalang banana. Kung tutungtong ang age mo sa 20, snub na ang loka. Ass in. Ang alam ko pa nga ha, may naging boyfriend itong si Annette na 10 years old lang. Pero walang sexual encounters na namagitan sa kanila...at least, yon ang sabi sa akin ng lola. Naniniwala naman ako.

Minsan nga, may I give-away pa ito ng mga bagets sa akin. Eh ako naman, hindi masyado mahilig sa bagets. Gusto ko yong same age bracket, sama mo na emotional at intellectual waveleght, kasi hindi lang naman talaga libog ang hanap ko. It's always more than that. Sure.Promise.

Please, wag nang mag-react ng kung ano-anong violent emote diyan, dahil yon naman talaga ang true no. Syempre, ang libog, pagkatapos ng more or less limang minuto, pawi na ang event. Eh, ang gusto ko naman ay sustainable na pleasure which can never be guaranteed by a one-night-stand event na yan.

Si Annette din ang kumbaga pa nag-open sa akin ng opportunity na finally, mabiyak na rin ang malagkit na durian ng lola mo. Pero, nabiyak nga ba ito? No...swear. Pero, gaya ng nasabi ko, siya ang nagbigay ng paraan na magkaroon ako finally ng sexual encounter.

One dawn, after ang isang alcohol-filled time together, nag-give away sa akin ang bruha. My first. Bongga naman at performance level ang bagets. Talagng Miss Saigon ang alam na musicale. Kaya ganon, the bagets kinantahan ako ng Sun ang Moon. Solo version.

Last night, yon na nga, rampa kami sa isang bar. Kasama na namin ang isa sa kanyang mga naging dating nakaniig na anya ay montrously tempting ang tool. Kasama rin namin ang kanyang super cute na pamangkin. Medyo pa-cute ako sa pamangkin ni Annette pero alam ko namang walang patutunguhan ang aking drama.

Inom. Kain. Kutingting dito. Butingting don. Labas sa bar para yosi at manlait sa nagpeperform na reggae band. Boy-watching. Girl-bitching. Walk back to the bar.

Maya-maya, dumating ang kanyang pimp pagkatapos ng isang call at several text messages. Aminado naman ang Annette na bugaw nga nya ang batang yon. Swear, bata pa siya. Mga nasa 17 lang or even younger tapos pimp na. Aba! Naisip ko, ano kaya ang batang yon sa kanyang past life?

Maya-maya pa uli, pagkatapos lumabas-pasok ng pimp sa bar, ay may dala na ito. Mukhang aparisyon ng virgin mary ang kasama ng bugaw sa kulay ng balat nito. No, hindi "everyday is foundation day" ang naharbat ng pimp--maputi lang talaga masyado ito.

Ito pa...naka-jacket rin ito ng puti bukod sa shirt na puti rin. Bweset ako masyado! Never akong tumabi sa batang yon. I kept a comfortable distance kasi magmumukha tiyak akong breathing and talking charcoal beside him. Puta siya!

Eventually, take home ni Annette ang aparisyon. Pero bago yan, sabi niya sa akin, pahahanapan nya raw ako sa bugaw.

Humindi ako.

"Faithful ako..." sabi ko sa kanya.

"Hindi ko pa nakikita yong taong pwede kong kalimutan na may boyfriend pala ako," dagdag ko.

Syempre love ko masyado ang aking Athan-------------------------------- c(@_@)a













Happy New year sa lahat!

We had this annual meeting over at the Island Garden City of Samal recently. Well, I barely saw gardens and the island was a given.

Saw them anway...







Please click on the pix for zoom-in view. wink...wink...c(@_@)a

Let's all compare...

ARTIST: Jennifer Holiday
EMOTE: Nasasaktan. At sobrang nasasaktan. At parang may sakit. At parang nakalulon ng blade o kaya ay chainsaw. At gusto niya itong iluwa.
RATING: Uber-uber
PUNCHLINE: No...no...no...no...way!



ARTIST: Regine Velasquez
EMOTE: Bangag at may sapi.
RATING: Uber-uber din
PUNCHLINE: No...no...no...no...way (din)!



ARTIST: Von Vonatron
EMOTE: Lalaking Jennifer Holiday
RATING: Mas uber-uber
PUNCHLINE: Dreamgirls pala ha!

Woke up four minutes before the call time. Shanti, the retreat manager, could have been kidding us all when she said we needed to be up 30 minutes before the walk-like-an-angel-and-double-lighted-all-alone by the beach.

I usually wake up at 9:00 eyem. How can I possibly wake up hours earlier than that? I faced a challenge. And a struggle.

I miscalculated the event. I did not think it would be that demanding. When the boss said that the retreat would give us time for silence, I imagined sleep. Like getting a good, good sleep.

Because my toilet moment was erratic, I started the walk at past 6:15. Peeped out the closed window. There I saw Shanti walking slowly, almost like an angel, noiseless and so like a pregnant cat, with her white flowing garb--outside my cottage.

Fuck. I am busted.

But no. I am good at mimicry so I went to be as cat-like as she was. I managed to slip out of the cottage while she was heading to the function building, her back on me. Then I realized I was not only walking like a cat. I slithered. Unnoticed.

Shanti was amazing. I guess she had me. For at least 70 hours. Or maybe for long.

The day before, just as the sun was slowly being consumed by the red-orange sea, Shanti introduced to us the vices of the world. She said the vices make the world miserable and dark. And evil. And deadly.

And the vices she wrote--Greed. Attachment. Ego. Sexlust. Softly, she read what she has written and looked at me, rather inquisively, after she said "sexlust."

Damn.

Was she aware about that thing I did before I climbed up the hall?

They who own the dust and befriend the urban mist
of deadly and black smog
who do not know the meaning of the word filth
with lives carved by nothing but nothingness

They rely on the pity of the heart
their skins hardened by the heartlessness of some.

Theirs are laughters that drown the roars
of angry jeepneys traversing claveria and San Pedro streets

They whose spirits speed off against the dead traffic lights
and washed out highway paints.

The rain and the sun are their children's playmates
and the rats and the roaches too

They...
Them...

People who are not so close to me are always confronted with curiousity and ignorance everytime they see the tattoo on my right hand.

Curiousity when they start to ask questions about the "meaning" of the print, which I often abort by telling them that it is like my chastity belt--meaning: I am still a virgin and that it means I am not lying. Curiousity when they start to ask what's the prominent number three standing for. And, curiousity when they ask whether it hurt me or not and why did I get the tattoo in the first place.

Ignorance comes when they start to ask "saang selda ka dati?"

This happened to me during the recent trip to Sibulan in Sta. Cruz, Davao del Sur to witness a ritual not-so-often observed by the Bagobo-Tagabawa in Tudaya Falls.

While walking back to the village from the long exhausting trek, I opted to stop by a community tub for a quick bath with a number of friends.

Just before I could get myself in to the washing area, two villagers arrived, with them a torched dog--eyes void of anything but blood clots; mouth agape that exposed broken teeth an a swollen but hardened tongue; and a slashed, bloodstained neck.

One of the men, who was very much like the dog with his broken teeth, engaged us. He was kind of reeking of alcohol and that bizarre burnt flesh smell. Sure he smelled burnt because he was the one who physically carried the butchered dog to the washing area.

Sensing that something was kind of wrong with the man, I excused myself and headed straight to the tub for the quick wash, shirt off, another tattoo on the back exposed. Lorraine, one of my friends, followed--her breast proud against the gloomy afternoon--shirt on or the breast would be saying "hello".

After washing up and some very fast self-fixing, the man approached me. Grinning...eyes drooping.

Man: Pare, kami kahit taga-bundok lang, dapat nirerespeto. Bakit naman hindi ka nagpaalam at umalis ka kaagad kanina habang kinakausap ka pa namin?

Bananas: (Nairita) Ha? Kinakausap mo ba ako? Na-offend kita (syempre narealize ko agad na hindi naman niya naintindihan ang salitang 'offend'). Saka, bakit naman ako magpapaalam eh, maliligo lang naman ako.

Man: Kahit na. Pero, pare, anong trabaho mo?

Bananas: Nagsusulat.

Man: Eh, kasi kanina, nong nakita kita, nasabi ko na agad na baka kasama kita dati sa loob. Aling selda ka ba?

Bananas: (Nagulat. Naiinis. Natatawa. Sindi ng yosi) Hindi ako ex-convict. Journalist ako.

Man: Pahingi naman ng yosi. (Ngiti habang sinisindihan ang yosing bigay ni banana)

Bananas: (Sensing na nalansi ng kaunti ang lalaking ulol, biglang baling sa mga kasama at nagyayang umalis na.) Tara!


(Few minutes after. Few meters away)

Bananas: Ponyetang lalaki yon! Hindi ako kriminal! Nasan na ang alkohol ko...nangangamoy sunog na aso ako!!!


c(@_@)a .............................................................................

With that and a looming libel case to be filed agaisnt me and the loads and loads of reports needed to be finished, I just want to have a rest. And while I am grabbing life, you guys, those who have missed reading it on the paper, might as well want to read it here.

Eksena: Writing while hinahalikan ni Jason Mraz ang buong katawan ko.

Salamat kay talksmart sa nomination bilang pinakamagandang blogger sa balat ng blogsphere.

But, yeah, thanks to talksmart sa nominasyon. Baka gusto nyong mag-cast ng votes, ok lang sa akin. Ang nominasyon? Best blogger of the week. Diba? Ang ganda?

Saka, promote ko na lang din si colored purple. Baka gusto nyo rin siyang i-visit.

Lonely siya eh.

Bye!

Last night, before midnight, Manilyn went screaming at the door. Sure I am exaggerating. Not screaming but Manilyn is always sort of screaming everytime he arrives to get the apartment rental fee.

Well, for me, Manilyn is screaming. I always hate the sight of Manilyn. We call him Manilyn for Maningil.

Yon yon.

Last night, Manilyn arrived with two Lilibeths in tow. Housemate had a sweet time, or rather a grand coital experience, with one of the Lilibeths. They were no goodlooking Lilibeths but housemate said, the size counted.

One of the Lilibeths made a pass on me. Athan was watching television and thank heavens, the tube was blaring he failed to hear the exchanges.

Lilibeth 1: Ang sexy mo naman.
Bananas: Ha? Sinong pipirma nito?
Lilibeth 2: Ako na.
Bananas: Pababain mo nga yang boss mo.
Lilibeth 2: nagba-backing ng car. Kami na nga pipirma.
Lilibeth 2: Magkano ba yan?
Lilibeth 1: Ang sexy mo talaga. Pahawak naman ng kamay.
Bananas: Bweset tong mga ito. Six thousand ito.
Lilibeth 1: Pahawak ng kamay.
Bananas: Anong isusulat ko dito?
(Lilibeth 1 sinabi ang pangalan)
Bananas: Pirma na. Six thousand yan ha. Bilangan mo. (aabot ang money kay Lilibeth 1)
(Lilibeth 1 hahawakan ang kamay ng Bananas)
Lilibeth 2: Ako din, pahawak.
(Bananas papasok na sa loob ng house. Athan nakaharap sa TV)
Athan: Ang ingay nyo.
Bananas: Letche! Ang papangit nila. (Deretcho na sa room)

Inside the room I recalled one of the Lilibeths telling me: Kung wala kang kasama dito, sabihan mo kami.

But the two Lilibeths looked really familiar. Later I realized that they looked like gargoyles.

Scary.