Woke up four minutes before the call time. Shanti, the retreat manager, could have been kidding us all when she said we needed to be up 30 minutes before the walk-like-an-angel-and-double-lighted-all-alone by the beach.

I usually wake up at 9:00 eyem. How can I possibly wake up hours earlier than that? I faced a challenge. And a struggle.

I miscalculated the event. I did not think it would be that demanding. When the boss said that the retreat would give us time for silence, I imagined sleep. Like getting a good, good sleep.

Because my toilet moment was erratic, I started the walk at past 6:15. Peeped out the closed window. There I saw Shanti walking slowly, almost like an angel, noiseless and so like a pregnant cat, with her white flowing garb--outside my cottage.

Fuck. I am busted.

But no. I am good at mimicry so I went to be as cat-like as she was. I managed to slip out of the cottage while she was heading to the function building, her back on me. Then I realized I was not only walking like a cat. I slithered. Unnoticed.

Shanti was amazing. I guess she had me. For at least 70 hours. Or maybe for long.

The day before, just as the sun was slowly being consumed by the red-orange sea, Shanti introduced to us the vices of the world. She said the vices make the world miserable and dark. And evil. And deadly.

And the vices she wrote--Greed. Attachment. Ego. Sexlust. Softly, she read what she has written and looked at me, rather inquisively, after she said "sexlust."

Damn.

Was she aware about that thing I did before I climbed up the hall?