He seldom smiles and when he does, he lights up the entire room so bizarrely that the energy emanating from his sweet and lovely face defies the nasty sight of his decayed teeth.

His presence is just illuminating that it exhausted the weariness of the stale afternoon as he moves around while humming a familiar television fantaserye theme, walking comfortably despite the oversize shoes and distracting the passivity of the hour just like how a sudden blow distracts the doldrums.

So like how a strong brewed coffee amuses an octogenarian’s cracked and thirsty lips.

Lovely.

Sigh. He’s such a darling. So young. So sweet. So handsome. And so bitch!

John Kenneth is just three years old. But believe me, a three year old boy who is, by all barometer and yardstick, already way up gay. Mother is proud, someone that John Kenneth should be very proud about when time comes that he is mature enough to realize what it is to have a mother like Julie.

Julie has “warned” me about the gayness of John Kenneth, whom I later christened Joana Kimberly. She, however, failed to warn me about the tactlessness of the kid. Oh please, sometimes, I would like to think that John Kenneth, er…Joana Kimberly, is not really tactless but just true and blunt about what he sees.

Besides, the kid doesn’t have the idea yet about the art of being fake disguised as being tactful.

My initial encounter with the kid was really a disaster. At least for me. He was restless as he roams around the bureau office cuddling Ansherina, the mermaid toy Julie bough him the last time she was in Davao.

“Bakla ka? Hindi ka pwede maging bakla kasi may balbas ka,” the kid told me that left me turning purple.

The kid has a sword tongue that victimizes everyone, including his mom.

Here’s some of Joana Kimberly:


Kimberly: Anong pangalan mo?

Rolly: Ako si Juno.

Nico: Ako naman si Markadan ay siya naman ay si Sabina (pointing at me)

Rolly: At boyfriend ko si Argo.

Kimberly: (pointing at Rolly’s crotch) Alam ba ni Argo na meron ka nyan?

Nico: Ay! Chaps na bayot!

Kimberly: (Instructs Rolly to cross his legs) Ganito para hindi makita ni Argo ang iyong lawit?

Rolly: (Crosses legs) Ganito?

Kimberly: Ay maraming ugat ang paa mo.


While I was discussing something with Nico, Julie talking in, Kimberly asked his mom: Mama bakit ka sumasagot na hindi ka naman nila kinakausap?

And a lot more:

Mama, ano pong ibig sabihin ng digmaan?
Mama, galit ako kay Gloria (macapagal-arroyo)
Nye! Inggit ka lang at marunong akong kumanta nyan (Majika)
Mama, pwede ikaw huwag magsuot ng sleeveless kasi maitim ang kilikili mo.



Sigh. Kids.

23 comments:

Lyka Bergen said...

Talented ang batang Kimberly na ito! I like her..... as in very much!

baluticious said...

wahahahaahahahhhha!

nalingaw kaayo ko sa imong post yot :p

Ymir said...

wow that kid knows a lot for a three year old. brutally honest as well.

utakGAGO said...

lovely.

i hate stubborn kids. kagulat naman, may 3 years old na palang ganyan. i mean, WOW. he surely knows a loooooot.

:)

ayun. nakakatuwa rin yang mga ganyan, pero sa totoo lang - PIKON ako sa mga bata. SOOOBRA.

[kaya nga madalas pinapatulan ko ang mga bata eh]

:D

bananas said...

@lyka: anufangava neng! scared nga ang beauties namin kasi baka sa susunod naming encounter ibang level na ng pancha-chapa ang ibabato sa amin ni kimberly.

Nakakatuwa sya na ewan. Namiss ko tuloy ang batang yon.

@baluticious: yot,kinsa gani ka teh. sorry ha...unta mahibalo ko ug kinsa ka. unsa diay imong page maam kay adtuon nako.

@ymir: exactly, love. wala akong masabi sa kanya kundi anuvah!

@utakgagu: kimberly aint stubborn. in fact, she/ he's really a darling and sweet.

matino sya pag kinausap ng matino. Well,matalino ang batang yon. kung di man sya matalino, maalam tiyak.

gusto ko yong mga bibong bata.pikon rin ako sa kiddo.pero pag ayaw ko ang bata, deadma ko na lang para walang gulo ba.

Redjeulle said...

hahaha, you don't know what they put in their milk nowadays, sobrang mga dalahira. Yung 8-year old namin nag-suggest na patayin na lang daw si Don Manuel sa Till I Met You.

tin-tin said...

3 years old lang ba tlga yan? bitch nga! hahahah :)

baluticious said...

si balut ni yot. taga-davaotoday.com hehehe. :P

wala pa koy page. mag-huna2 usa ko kung maghimo ba ko kay basig wala koy masulat.

musta? iregards ming rolly aka juno..

bananas said...

@redjeulle: breast milk is still the best, love. matatalino lang talaga ang mga batang pinakikitunguhan ng matatalino. Thanks for dropping by...muwah...

@tin: i swear. three lang sya.

@baluticious: Ikaw diay na gwafa. ay uy...suwat na uy. mugna na ug event maam.

ang rolanda tua sa balay, nagpractie ug kamatayon. sureness, maam, iparegards taka unya.

re: shiela, sa sunod na ha kay akong gisubmit sa inquirer.huwaton sa nako na mugawas ngadto. diba?

Tama man?

baluticious said...

yes yot, tama jud ka..:P sige lang, maghulat lang ko sa imong story re shiela. agi-agi lang ko dinhi sa imong makalingaw nga page, for the mean time.hehehe..

Talamasca said...

That kid is hell-bound, I tell ya. ;-p

Paurong said...

bakit? bakit? bakit?

migs the manila gay gay said...

ay i like your writings banana. kahit inaagaw mo sa akin si gary tarugo, love ko pa rin ang blog mo. sige na nga, i-share ko na lang sa iyo si gary. sa iyo si gary waist up, akin siya waist down! game!

bananas, konti lang friends ko na kapwa bading. can you be my friends? hahaha! (pin-lural talaga ng bruha dabah!)

bananas said...

@baluticious: Hampak kaayo maam! hehehe...

@talamasca: oh...(eyeballs rolling) what is that, dearie? projection or something? bet a place down there is waiting for you too, love.

muwah...(beso-beso...plastika-plastikan)

@paurong: ganyan talaga ang mga bagay-bagay. teka, anong bakit?

@migs: 'nyetah ka! sige na nga kahit na napipilitan lang akong makipag-blogfriend sayo (beso-beso...plastikan-plastikan)

Talamasca said...

You don't have to rub it in because I know I'm going there, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, since you've linked me up using a name that is pointless (Donya donyahan? WTF? I have an online name, you illiterate twat), I reciprocated the gesture just for kicks. You're now officially on my "Troll Roll". And you don't have to thank me, since you had it coming in the first place.

Peace out. :-)

bananas said...

@talamasca: sure im not going to lick ur reeking crack, love. but yeah, thanks for the very huge laugh that almost choked me to death.

newey, i must admit committing a mistake. mistaken u for someone...too much blog hopping results in a fucking merry mix-up.
if anything, i surely will not say sorry for that.

still, i love you, love. muwah...

Anonymous said...

naku, kenneth is not formula dependent, nagkakape na siya, but he prefers water, magwawala yun pag walang tubig. thanks sa comments niyo especially ke banana, napaiyak at napatawa mo ako day!

* diday kampupot * said...

hahahaha! the 3-year old sure has a sense of humor. i like him, er, her. :)

it's nice to know that he, uh, she has a supportive mom.

salamat sa pagbisita, banana!

nico said...

and you forgot dear na sinabihan nya ako na bakit daw nakapatong ang paa ko sa mesa e mabaho naman daw! pasalamat sya at bata sya! kundi nailibing ko sya ng buhay!

in fairness, he's gonna grow up a fairy.

Billycoy said...

nakakatuwa naman ang batang yan... napakabibo er... biba. whatever.

at least matalino for his very young age. pabasahin mo na ng mga books ni dan brown o kaya tom clancy!

Krayola said...

Waw. haha, napangiti ako =)

tama nga ang napag-aralan ko sa aking Psycho class. As early as 3 years old, na-di-distinguish na ang homosexuality ng isang bata.

Yea he was tactless pero the fact that he is tactless makes him a smart kid.

sana pag laki niya ay hindi siya mamukadkad sa isang reserved at hindi bibo na bata. kailangan pa ng mundo ng mga taong (bagamat tactless) sinasabi ang katotohanan. *smiles* haha.

Joy said...

ha ha ha what a kid!!!

I think may influence din yong kasama niya sa bahay and playmates ano?

ang daldal at ang taray ha ha haa

oy, may balbas ka pala ha ...

Anonymous said...

bwa ha ha ha... me-re-sey ninyo tanan! nakakita na jud mo'g katapat! yet, s/he's only 3 years old! damn! humanda kayo! ako pud diay... :)

Nalingaw ko sa imong post, bru. Gusto na jud nako ma-meet ang joanna kimberly!