I never felt so abuse in my entire life until last night, after a fight that sprang from his insensitivity. It was probably the only fight I had with him where I saw myself totally unable to grab reason to justify my disgust.

I tried to shot back but perhaps it was the intensity of the unexecpected fight that silenced me. Or was it because of the tiring out-of-town trip during the day that paralyzed the system? Or there could be other more reasons why I opted to edit the self. Whatever it is, I am not sure.

I felt the coldness of the ground seep through the makeshift bed as I pressed my tired body against its softness and tried to search for comfort. My back on him, it was a torture listening to his kilometric tirades against my belief (or the lack of it) and some people I know.

My weak one-liners succumbed to his tart remarks which later went levels higher when I refused to surrender to his calls for reconciliation. For how can I possibly just forget everything he has told me when I am still burning with anger? All I wanted was enough time for me to process the self and allow the night to simmer me down.

But all the more this angered him, something that further exposed his insensitivity.

"Ang OA mo. Daig mo pa ang babae!!! Sobrang OA mo!!! Kaya nga hindi ako nag-girlfriend kasi ang aarte ng babae!" he said as he got up of bed, turned on the lights and picked up his pants and keys. "Nasan ang shirt ko?"

Frozen, I remained silent.

"Tigilan mo na ang kaartehan mo ha? Hindi ka babae! Bakla ka!" he said before he walked out the door.

17 comments:

mikel said...

ow... ow...
-sigh-

engz said...

oi...foul na 'to...
nakakalungkot naman..basta, palagi mong tatandaan, kahit ano ka pa, karapatan mong respetuhin at mahalin. at karapatan mong mag-umarte kung kailan mo gusto..

be strong po.Godbless you.

chase / chubz said...

ang bad naman..
upakan ko xa, langga.

Lyka Bergen said...

The Madaya-Kulot Syndrome has gone widespread. Good Luck!

Kiks said...

me susunod pa bang kwento ito?

parang ang hirap magkomento.

kaya mo yan. mahaba ang buhok mo.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

"Hindi ka babae! Bakla ka!"

~What does that makes him? That is just foul.

Anonymous said...

I can't figure out if you wrote this with hurt feelings or without..

bananas said...

@amicus, hmmmm...ok na ako.salamat ha.

@engz, i know foul kaya nga hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng proseso ang gagawin. ang hirap non. i will surely be discussing this with him.

@chase langga, thanks for this. inupakan ko na. hahahaha...muwahhh.

@lyka bru, thanks sa "good luck" mo. wink...wink...

@kiks, kapatid, sana wala nang kasunod na kwento. pero, sana meron din. hindi ko naman sinasabing dahil sa kanyang pagiging asshole ay hindi ko na siya mahal. mahal ko rin yong tao. diba? hehehe...mag-uusap kami mamya.kagabi kasi, hindi kami nagkausap kasi antok na ako masyado.

@ruff, i know...kakaloka nga ang kanyang statement. gago nga talaga siya.

@reyn, i am not sure, too. everything's a mix-up of everything. but i know im bruised up. im ok now, tho. thanks.

Winter said...

that's a bit rude of him..

bite his head off.. sistah!

go!

:)

Anonymous said...

jepoi??? bitaw. =)

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Yoshke said...

had it been me, i was out of that room in a flash.

bad. bad.

Athens said...

your housemate should have this kind of drama too hahahaha

Anonymous said...

ouch! kung ako yun nag suntukan kami! o e ano ngayon kung bakla ka??? kailangan ba nyang ipag duldulan yun??? ano sya kung bakla ka????

by the way nice blog!

tin-tin said...

nasad naman ako... sana okay na kayo...

Anonymous said...

nagkita kami ni yam dito sa manila.. 2 weeks ago.. hehe

Any given madness said...

It was said in anger, he probably didn't mean it. We all have the right to be maarte, no matter what our sexual preference is.