"What do they want us to do? Kneel before here (her)...Kneel before Nicole and Ursua and serenade them all night?"---Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales

Tell me I am wrong--Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales is gay. Does this call for a national holiday? No. Because if indeed he is, I would rather go back to my old denial self, lock myself inside a casket, and deny till kingdom come that I am fabulous.

And that's suicide.

But I wish I am wrong. I wish I heard him wrong. Why because a couple of nights ago, while I was watching the news, I saw the justice secretary giving an interview as if we have not had enough of his statements (and the actions that follow them) that only smeared the meaning of the word justice.

The natural sound was clear. Everything was audible. Only that the message was garbled (and the image was sickening).

Sought for reaction about the complaint of Nicole's camp on the decision of the government to smuggle out American serviceman Lance Cpl. Daniel Smith, convicted of raping Nicole, from the walls of the Makati City Jail to the comforts of the US Embassy, Gonzales showed his slip.

His face deformed, Gonzales said: "What do they want us to do? Kneel before here (her)...Kneel before Nicole and Ursua and serenade them all night?"

Read that once again. Read it out loud if you want, again and again until you realize what that just means.

My elementary analyzing nature tells me that Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales apparently wants us all to know that he has problem kneeling before ladies.

That serenading Filipina women, much more those who cry rape and chase around Americans with a strong case and later walk home with a conviction, is ungentleman and something that could ruin the macho image in him that has long deteriorated along with his decency---without him knowing it.

My elementary analyzing nature also tells me that while Gonzales abhors that image of him kneeling before Nicole and private prosecutor Evalyn Ursua, serenading them with all those flowers and chocolates, he doesn't have any problem kneeling before Lance Cpl. Daniel Smith who was convicted of raping Nicole last year.

And either I don't see any problem finding myself kneeling before Smith for all the carnal desires I have for him for being so pretty and delicious.

Only that I'm afraid I might later drool and foam in blood and witness a gory but dramatic union of a falling half-hard white appendage and a cold floor.