For more than a year now, my Tuesday mornings has always been bloody hilarious, if not frustrating.

Or both.

Tomorrow, the city council will unleash its clowns again—some of them are literally funny enough to cause rectal bleeding among the spectators, including me, and some are just plain stupid enough to cause constipation.

Oh. Sorry for being a little “toiletty” here. How can I possibly help it when, most of the times, some of the city councilors act like shits who exhumed themselves straight from high end subdivision’s septic tanks, only that they are clad in coat and tie and embroidered barongs?

Sure they make the entire session hall reek of you-know-what.

First off, I would like to expect councilors In-Fairness-To-Me and The-Allegator-Your-Honor to take the podium again, like they did last Tuesday. These two always tried to outwit each other.

If councilor In-Fairness-To-Me stands, councilor The-Allegator-Your-Honor follows. It appears that this has become an unwritten rule already which everyone else in the council understands.

But everytime the two councilors grab the mic, the rest of the honorable councilors would always be caught scratching their heads, maliciously grinning, talking to each other, or leaving the hall. The presiding officer, the vice mayor, always leaves the hall.

Last Tuesday, as councilor The-Allegator-Your-Honor was just starting to say her piece, the vice mayor slammed the gavel and declared a one minute recess. The session resumed after almost 10 minutes, though. Another councilor presided over.

Later, councilor In-Fairness-To-Me broke the house with his as if not-so-obvious observation of aerial spraying, a method of synthetic chemical application in banana plantations now widely criticized for its potential to contaminate open bodies of water and expose and kill many people because of the uncontrolled chemical drifts carried by the wind.

“Your honor, aerial spraying is very exposure!” he said with conviction after which he turned to look at the journalists covering the session as if saying “In fairness to me, eh?”

And who could forget when councilor The-Allegator-Your-Honor said “The allegation of the alligator, your honor…”

Well, there are also those whose roles in the city council are nothing but 1.) To raise their hands whenever a votation is needed and 2.) To keep their mouths shut. One of them is this very beautiful and stylish Sangguniang Kabataan leader.

Tomorrow, I can only imagine a battle of cocks peeing and throwing up (that’s cumming, yeah) with their long and useless debates on matters too important to be dragged.

Hell, yeah, they can actually throw logic and reasons at each other. They’re lawyers after all and dense enough to self-tag as The Conscience.

Well, conscience my ass.

Tomorrow they will battle up each other till kingdom come--until they lose their audience, including the ever impatient journalists. They’ve long lost their senses and decency.

I’m dying to see them lose their voices. And their useless lives.